Walk up to the club like, “What up? I got a big Darkrai”.
this should be playing in pokemon….when i go into the thrift shop. there should be thrift shops..for the maniacs….why do i have to keep hunting the maniacs who will buy my nuggets and mushrooms and stuff for more?!
the worst thing ever is when you pronounce a characters name in a book a certain way in your head and then they bring the film out and it turns out you’ve been pronouncing it wrong the whole time and everytime their name is said on screen you shudder
omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
You have 2 cows. You do not care.
You have 2 doomed cows...
You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
You have two cows. You kill the cow and take the other cow to a mirror universe.
You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:
You have a million cows because they're everywhere
You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
I give you a hamburger.
The shit you go through.
Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
“Except you can’t show a topless woman on TV - and you can’t defibrillate a woman in a bra. So victims of heart attacks on TV are *always* male. Did you know that a woman having a heart attack is more likely to have back or jaw pain than chest or left arm pain? I didn’t - because I’ve never seen a woman having a heart attack. I’ve been trained in CPR and Advanced First Aid by the Red Cross over 15 times in my life, the videos and booklets always have a guy and say the same thing about clutching his chest and/or bicep.
And people laugh when I tell them women are still invisible in this world.”—
As an ER nurse for eight years now, I can absolutely verify how heart attacks are the silent killer of women. I have yet to see a woman having a heart attack where it is the straightforward left-sided chest pain radiating down the arm. I’ve had everything from back pain, shoulder pain, wrist pain, and toothache; every single one was a woman in the process of having a heart attack.
And I never learned that in nursing school. I learned that on the job, watching it happen in front of me.